Embedded Files
Springfield-Branson National Airport; 10:51 am
I've just said the hardest goodbyes this morning. I'm sitting now in the airport that has been the starting line of so many journeys. I love sitting alone here, feeling the joyful obligations of home falling away while a sense of freedom mounts in my chest. I think of the love I am leaving behind and the wonder I am bound to find. I think of the responsibility I shouldered and the ways it has helped me grow.
I am writing here so that I do not lose the connection to the relationships I have built in the last 6 months. I managed to find a sense of newness in the place I have for so long called home and to deepen the bonds that have always made that place wonderful.
This writing will be more off-the-cuff than the work I consider formally "finished." I hope that my readers, my friends, will appreciate a less polished look into my world, without the shiny veneer of careful prose and considered posturing.
These posts will be about how I feel and what I'm thinking about at the time of writing.
For now I plan to use Whatsapp until I figure out international data. Email me, dm me, or text me there.
Above is a song that captures the mix of freedom and melancholy I am feeling about leaving. Beside it is the last picture I took in my childhood bedroom before leaving, wearing my heaviest clothes for the upcoming 18 hour journey to Zurich. And then the boots that will be solely responsible for the protection of my feet for the foreseeable future.
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Because this is a space for me to let myself tie thoughts together more loosely than I would normally allow, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the album Lola vs Powerman and the money-go-round Pt 1 by The Kinks. It has lived in my mind as a great travel album ever since Wes Anderson featured several tracks in the movie The Darjeeling Limited. I think of This Time Tomorrow (always queued for when the place lifts off) and Strangers. Strangers, specfically, has some of the most beautiful lines. I think of them often, especially when I'm leaving something behind. I'll quote a few here:
""Til peace we find, tell you what I'll do
All these things I own I will share with you
And if I feel tomorrow like I do today
We'll take what we want and give the rest away"
And
"Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees
And when we get there, make your play
'Cause soon, I feel, you're gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men, there is so much grief
And my mind is proud, but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I'm afraid I'll die"
Then the chorus which pretty much sums up the feeling I have after being at once more held and seen and loved and also, paradoxically, more alone than ever before in the last 6 months..
"Strangers on this road we all are
We are not two we are one."
Really it's great. Also I like to put on Powerman when I finally get somewhere and I'm feeling really fired up about exploring a new place.
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Atlanta Hartfield-Jackson International Airport 3:40 pm
I became so engrossed in writing this that I nearly missed my flight to Atlanta. I took off my headphones to hear an announcement booming my name and saying it was my last chance to get on the plane. I threw my laptop in my bag and sprinted through the airport. I got on the plane and sat down, gasping and anxious, amongst rows of flatulent businessmen in polyester golf shirts.
Let the journey begin.
I am now waiting to board my flight to Zurich where I will catch a train headed for Zweisimmen to be picked up by my friends.
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