August 30, 2025

Lyon, France; around noon at a café 

I was aiming to keep this journal more consistently updated than I have, but oh well. So far I've only told two people about it so it's not like I'm dissapointing my dedicated readership. 

The week in Switzerland unfolded with more of the pleasantness that described the first few days. We hiked, we ate, and we laughed. There were some seriously epic hikes (on a glacier! next to a waterfall!) as well as some relaxing countryside rambles. 

It's remarkable how close I feel to Ben and how easy it is to get back into the rhythm of friendship given that this is the only time I will see him this calendar year (and that I only saw him for one week last year). If you read this buddy, I appreciate the hell out of you. 

On Tuesday I left Ben and his family and took the train from Gstaad to Lausanne, Switzerland. This departure marked the beginning of the real journey, the one I have been scared of and excited for.  Whereas the week in Gstaad was all about having fun and unwinding, this week has been all about facing challenges and doing things that scare me. 

When I got to Lausanne, I was exhausted. I rented a room in an aprtment owned by a middle-aged American woman who seemed to want to mother me because I was about the age of her children. This I accepted and we had nice conversations until she walked in on me half-naked in my room because she assumed I was out and wanted to bring me towels when in fact I was in my room writing in my underwear.  Things were somewhat awkward after this, but I mostly just walked around the city and read in my room. The highlight of Lausanne was the Olympic museum, which was overpriced for the hour it took to see the whole thing, but cool for an Olympic aficionado like myself. 

The next day, Wednesday the 27th, I took the train to Lyon where I have been for the last three days. Traveling in this way is exhausting. Constantly repacking my suitcase whose ability to close depends on careful rolling and positioning of every single item of clothing never ceases to stress me out. I am ready to get somewhere, to unpack fully and to start building a life. That being said, Lyon has been cool. The Musée des Beaux Arts was phenomenal and the science and anthropology museum had some really cool exhibits about the origins of our universe which made me reflect on the story of Starcrossed in a new ways. 

****Note: this entry initially contained long paragraphs about how anxious I felt traveling alone, how much my grief was surfacing in that aloneness, and how I felt like I need to have more alone time to feel that grief. I think I was wallowing in it and I have decided that focusing on the bad parts in that way does not help me "let it out" but instead just cultivates the negative feelings and causes them to grow. I have deleted that writing and also decided to shift my vibe to creating positivity for myself. 

Here are some refections on how to do that instead of my whining: 

While in Lyon i noticed how isolated I felt and the seeds of how to escape that isolation were planted. I started talking to strangers in museums, at bars, and on the streets. The encounters in Lyon were awful because I was still stuck in an isolated head space, but getting a few reps in helped me get out of my head and to start to enjoy things. I plan to keep this vibe rolling into the future.